


figuring out how to fit

by varibean



Category: Green Eggs and Ham (Cartoon), Green Eggs and Ham - Dr. Seuss
Genre: also this is neither here nor there and probably won't come up in fic, but guy????? trans, but they're other seuss crossover characters, so im just tagging the main ones for now, there's gonna be other characters too, with seuss as my witness they WILL experience domestic love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-17 21:36:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21516841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/varibean/pseuds/varibean
Summary: A month after the Chickeraffe incident, all of Sam and Guy’s adventures are put behind them. After a startling (but in hindsight not all surprising) revelation, they decide to try their hands at building a life together. But old faces from Guy’s past and pent up emotions from Sam’s abandonment seem to be getting in the way of their happily ever after.
Relationships: Briefcase Buddies - Relationship, Guy Am I & Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham), Guy Am I/Sam I Am (Green Eggs and Ham)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 180





	1. new apartment buddies

It had taken them a few days to get back on their feet, the thrill of the Chickeraffe chase slowly leaving their systems only to be replaced with the dread of figuring out what to do next. There were many things that they  _ wanted  _ to do of course, but as was the way of the world adventure cost bruckles and the only way to get them (legally that is) was with a job. 

Sam, as charming as he was, had never held down an honest job before. His energy and smile were infectious, everyone who came in contact with him could agree that no matter what he decided to do, he would do it with a spirit that couldn’t be beat. However that itself was a problem. Though he was a Who of many skills, none of those skills could technically be considered among the legal variety. He had the charisma, but not the work experience to match. 

Guy on the other hand had the experience and the know how, it was getting through the front door that was the problem. Though inventing was his passion, he was well equipped to do just about anything the market called for; whether it be paint watching, flubberhorn polishing, vipperyvip repair, or filing. But even after his adventure, he lacked a certain level of charm that could dazzle an interviewer and set him apart from the hundreds of other applicants. 

In their short rut period Michellee had, of course, put them up at her house for a while, something both of them were eternally grateful for. Sam would cook breakfast in return and Guy helped E.B with her homework and pandog catching inventions. It was a nice set up for a few days, but there was a limit to how long a couch and a lounge chair were comfortable and even without that fact in mind, both Guy and Sam were a bit restless. 

Michellee constantly insisted that they were both fine to stay for as long as they needed, even going as far as to joke that they could stay forever if that’s what they desired. But they both knew they could never do that to her, couldn’t abuse her kindness in such a way. Sam had never stayed with so many people in one place before and even with the constant job hunt Guy felt like he would become an unspoken burden to the kind hearted Michellee.

Luckily, the question of how long they would need to stay was answered faster than anticipated. The worry and festering feelings of becoming a nuisance were lifted when, two weeks into the search, Guy found a job. 

He discovered that, while all of his own inventions exploded, repairing  _ other’s  _ inventions seemed to be a success. It was a fact that came as both a relief-he would get to work in the field he loved-and a bit of a blow to his pride-the thought that maybe it wasn’t his inventions that were wrong, maybe it was just  _ him _ . But steady work was steady work and if he was meant to be an Domahicky Repair Man, then so be it. 

One week and his first paycheck later, Guy and Sam found their own apartment a city over. E.B had been upset that her friends were leaving but still smiled a teary goodbye as she hugged Sam goodbye, making him promise to visit on the weekends and to call her with a report of all the new adventures he was sure to have in the city.    
  


Michellee insisted that they could stay longer, save up a bit more money, but in the end she too relented on the Weekend Visit condition along with the frequent phone call. 

“Remember, we’re just half an hour away if you need us.” Michellee said as Guy finished loading his and Sam’s matching briefcases into the taxi.

“I think I recall you saying that once or twice in the last ten minutes.”

“I mean it Guy, if you need anything at all just ask. Bruckles, home decor, someone to talk to…”

Michellee’s voice trailed off at the end as she looked up at Guy with a smile. They’d both decided a few days after Mr. Jenkins went home that they were better off as just friends, but Guy had been telling the truth when he said she made him feel safe. Something about her calmed him in a way that few other people could. She’d become his confidant and in return he was her’s. It was a comfortable friendship, an easy going understanding that they shared between each other. 

“And good luck with-” Before Michellee could finish, she was interrupted by Sam sticking his head out the taxi window.

“Come on N.A.B-New Apartment Buddy-we gotta hit the road if we want to beat lower Sneetch Town traffic!”

Guy rolled his eyes and gave Michellee and apologetic smile before hugging her and climbing in the back of the taxi with Sam.

They both waved behind them at Michellee and E.B until the two Whos faded into dots in the distance. 

Sam threw his arm around Guy and pumped a fist excitedly in the air.

“Onto the next adventure!” 

* * *

It hadn’t been discussed beforehand that Sam would move in with Guy, it had just been a given like so many other things in their relationship. Guy didn’t even question Sam’s correct assumption that they would be moving in together when the news dropped that he found a job and a nice little place to live in the lower Whoville area. He even brought Sam to the place a few days before moving just to get the other’s approval.

The apartment was small, the front door leading right into the tiny living room, the kitchen attached to that, another door leading to the bedroom, and a small bathroom on the side. It was fine for them, they both agreed. Guy didn’t need much space and Sam spent most of his days outside as it was. 

The first week after moving in there had been a period of adjusting, of making the area their own. Sam stocked the fridge with green eggs and packaged ham, leaving Guy to follow up behind him and put  _ actual food  _ in there as well. 

Sam also seemed to have a knack for decorating as well. His decor wasn’t exactly tidy, but it wasn’t sloppy either. It was an endearing sort of messy; splashes of colors everywhere with trinkets placed on all available surfaces. It only took a few days for the cookie cutter apartment to become an area that felt almost like home. A month ago, Guy would abhor the bright painted colors, the various useless things decorating the wall, the odd additions to the counters and side tables. But now he looked at them with a certain level of fondness that he hadn’t felt in a long time; the crowded living area wasn’t crowded at all, in fact, the more Sam added too it the easier it was to breathe. 

It was as if the life given to the room was radiating out and infecting him with his own splashes of color. When Guy came home, it was with a smile and a fond sigh as he looked around at the area that was slowly shaping to become theirs. 

Sam was also more than happy with their arrangement. Still struggling to find a job and give up his past life, after the decorating was done in the first few days he threw himself into helping around the community. By the end of the first week he had introduced himself to the neighbors, walked around town acquainting himself with the locals, and familiarized himself with the best diners in town. He wasn’t bringing in an income yet but that didn’t matter at all to Guy. Seeing the little Who exhausted and smiling from a day full of social interaction and free of crime was enough to give them both a sense of peace. 

Of course, there were slight drawbacks. The job Guy found was nice, but he didn’t get paid an extraordinary amount. It was enough to keep them both content, but there were certain things they had to cut back on. 

Their dishware was bought second hand, the pieces they were missing replaced with reusable plastic. Organic eggs and ham were out of the question, along with eating out for anything that wasn’t take out. Couponing became a must and Guy was always on the lookout for a sale. Most of their furniture came mix matched from thrift shops and online marketplace sales. 

But there was one thing that stood out the most among all of the little cutbacks: The apartment only had one bed.

* * *

The first night they spent in the new apartment Guy was only mildly surprised that there was only one bed. The landlord had assured him that sleeping accommodations would be included with the down payment, but staring at the bed and thinking back to the conversation Guy realized that he hadn’t specified that this single bedroom would be shared by two people. An oversight on his part. 

“I guess this makes us Same-Bed-Buddies too huh?” Sam joked, but there was an unusual tension to his tone, as if he were more upset with the arrangement than Guy was. 

“After being shipped in a box with you this might as well be a California King.” 

Sam laughed in response and then threw himself onto the mattress, giving it a good bounce. 

Guy thought that would be the end of it and prepared himself to get nuzzled to near death in his sleep, but later that night he was surprised to find how reserved Sam was.

The little Who would toss and turn, inching closer to Guy, then suddenly catch himself and scoot back as if he were in trouble. It was odd, considering how touchy Sam was during all other aspects of their life. Guy mused that maybe he was trying to give him his space; they’d learned a lot about each other on their adventure, including how to be more considerate of each other’s boundaries. It was a sweet thought if true, even if a bit misguided.

An hour was spent with Sam tossing in a restless sleep and Guy, eyes wide awake, growing more and more frustrated as each minute passed. There was sadness mixed in there as well; the realization that this must’ve been how Sam always slept, twitching and alone and desperate to cling but being unable to find anything (or anyone) to hold.

The tossing and turning got to such a point that Guy’s nerves just couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Oh for the love of yip, just come here.” 

A groggy Sam slowly opened one eye, trying to take in the dark surroundings, but before he could respond to what was going on, Guy pulled him into his arms.

The little Who was still for a moment, the shock of being woken up and pulled into an embrace rendering him silent for a rare moment. After a minute or two, he wrapped his arms around Guy and buried his face into the soft ring of fluff around the Knox’s neck. 

“You’re kinda chubby.” Sam said sleepily, voice muffled by fur. 

The Who must’ve felt a rebuttal coming because he soon followed his words with a content sigh and pressed his body closer against Guy’s.

“I like it…’s comfy.” 

There was nothing Guy could say to that. Sam seemed to drift off into a now much quieter sleep, warm and contently pressed against Guy’s weight and soft fluff. 

Guy had to admit to himself that he didn’t hate the scenario. Quite the opposite in fact. He found that he enjoyed the feeling of Sam wrapped around him, the other’s little body tucked perfectly against him as Guy adjusted his arms so that they wrapped around his friend in return. Something about the feeling was...safe. Secure. The only drawback in his mind was that at some point in the morning, he would have to let go. 

That night they both slept with more peace than either had felt in a long time. 

  
  
  
  



	2. Star Bellied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During a sudden heat spike in the city Guy suddenly realizes that Sam's shirt is, well, a shirt.

Guy hadn’t realized that Sam’s shirt was, well, a shirt until two weeks of living with him. 

They had fallen into a rhythm of sorts after a short time. Guy would wake up first, get the morning chores done, then Sam would be quick to follow to make breakfast. Sometimes he fixed two helpings of green eggs and ham and other times he would make Guy and oatmush drizzled with honey and topped with a strawberry because, while it was true that Guy did like the green dish, sometimes it was just a bit too much of a good thing for him. After eating he’d go off to work, leaving Sam to fill his day with whatever he pleased.

When he came home it was the same checklist as the morning but in reverse. Dinner would be fixed, dishes would be put away, depending on Sam’s earlier activities the apartment would be cleaned as they saw fit, they’d sit down and watch a show, and then the two of them would go to bed with Sam curled up against Guy’s side in a peaceful sleep. 

That rhythm was disrupted slightly one night when the temperature rose so high that even the most air conditioned complexes were slightly damp with heat. It was an unexpected heat spike, with no one in town prepared for the weather and what it would bring. All day at work there had been nothing but air conditioner and ice maker repair for Guy, making him rightfully tired and a good bit sweaty when he returned home.

The heat was so bad that even Sam, ball of energy that he was, was lethargically laying on the couch as Guy stepped through the threshold. 

“Oh I’m sorry, didn’t realize you were so busy. Should I come back later?” Guy said, sarcasm and humor dripping from his voice. 

To his credit, Sam actually managed a drowsy, half hearted raspberry in Guy’s direction before flopping back against the couch once again. 

The night moved slowly as ever. The two lazily made dinner and ate without much of their normal chit chat. Both were too hot and too worn to even bother with the dishes and after an icy shower for Guy followed by a cool bath for Sam, they decided to head off to bed without much of their usual nightly fanfare of cleaning and watching tv. It was fine by Guy, who wanted nothing more than a long night of sleep.

As he was getting himself tucked in however, Sam did something he’d never seen the slight Who do before. Sam reached down to the hem of his shirt, which Guy had always just assumed was part of the pattern of his fur, and lifted it above his head.

“It is definitely waaaaay too hot to sleep in that thing. I’m gonna have to wash it tomorrow just to today’s funky flow off of it.” 

Guy only half paid attention to the words Sam was saying. His eyes were fixed on the other’s form, more accurately, his stomach. The fur on Sam’s chest faded in color as it got closer to his center. The bright and vibrant yellow fading to a calm and mellow shade of itself. It looked softer as well compared to the rest of himself. But the real attention grabber was the star, a light white color that almost faded in with the rest of the yellow, but was just bright enough to be seen, that was placed on his belly.

Without thinking about the words, Guy opened his mouth to state his observation.

“You’re part Sneetch.”

The words were blunt, with a hint of awe at this new fact that he had just learned about his best friend. 

For a second he worried that he had said the wrong thing as he noticed Sam’s face blush a light pink in the fading light of their moonlit room.

“Uh, yeah I guess I am. I mean, I never really bothered to check with one of those Who-N-A test thingies but I sure do have the star!” Sam puffed up his form slightly and positioned his hands in a display like form for his star. 

There was something stiff about his movements though that had nothing to do with the heat. 

“Come on over here.” Guy said. 

Even with the boiling heat Sam still gladly flopped onto Guy as if the Knox was a bed, his back pressed against the chubby comfort of his friend’s body. 

In turn, Guy wrapped his arms around Sam. His fingers went to the soft pattern now on display and was pleased to find that the downy feather like texter was as fluffy as it had seemed from afar. 

“Sam, your mom, was she also a-?”

“No. I mean, not that I could remember. Maybe she was half Sneetch or something but if she was I don’t remember it. I think I must’ve got it from my dad, whoever he might’ve been.” 

Talking about Sam’s parents was always a hard subject. It had gotten easier with time, Sam always making plans to find her and recounting the few and far between stories of what he  _ actually  _ remembered about her to Guy. 

The room was silent for so long that Guy thought for a moment that Sam had managed to drift off to sleep without his knowledge but he could feel the conscious breathing of his friend’s body against his own as they sat there; the kind of breathing that was too precise and even to be accidental. 

“Back at the orphanage,” Sam started again suddenly, “the Sneetch kids would pick on me. The ones without stars said that I wasn’t good enough to play with them. And the ones with stars said that since my star wasn’t green I didn’t belong with them either. After that nobody wanted to play with me because if the Sneetch kids thought you were weird,  _ everyone  _ thought you were weird. So I started wearing a shirt to hide it. Seems pretty stupid to still do it now, I mean, I guess I just got used to it. Hiding it.” 

Every fact Guy learned about Sam’s life before him hurt. How anyone could be so needlessly cruel to him seemed so absurd. But that thought just led to him thinking about his own behavior to Sam before he let him in and that hurt even more. 

“They were nothing but a bunch of yipping stuck up snobs. They wouldn’t know a perfect star if it hit ‘em right in their beaks.” 

With the moon fading behind wisps of clouds Guy couldn’t see Sam’s face, but he could just tell that the other was smiling. 

The heat didn’t seem as unbearable anymore as Sam cuddled further against Guy’s fur. And when Guy finally fell asleep, it was with his hands tightly clasping Sam’s as they rested against the soft fluff of the star on his belly. 

* * *

The morning proved to be much more bearable than the night, with the previous temperatures cooling off drastically. It was still slightly unpleasant, but with the right attitude almost unnoticeable. 

When Guy got up and ready that morning he elected to again forgo chores in favor of making breakfast. He wasn’t as good at cooking as Sam was but after a while he found himself becoming halfway decent in the kitchen.

He cracked the eggs, cooked up the ham, and buttered himself oat toast to go right as Sam woke up. He was sad to see that he had his shirt on once again, the golden white star covered up by the sunshine yellow fabric that faded in nicely with the rest of his fur. 

“Well good morning and a rise and shine to you Mister Master Chef! I thought I smelled something utterly delectable cooking.”

Guy rolled his eyes at Sam’s cheery compliments. He didn’t doubt that Sam meant them with all of his heart but he always layered the flattery on thick. 

“It’s just frying up eggs Sam. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to do it.”

“No but being a Master Inventor must help the process. You’ve got the nimble, inventive hands just ready to...do whatever it is that inventors do to make a good breakfast!.” 

A plate was placed in front of Sam as Guy held himself back from rolling his eyes again. Twice in one minute couldn’t be healthy for his eyesight, he mused. 

“Enjoy it because that’s the last of it we have. Gonna have to go grocery shopping here soon. I’ll pick something up for dinner tonight so don’t worry about it.”

“I never do.” Although the words coming out of Sam’s egg loaded mouth sounded more like ‘ah nempher dphf.’ 

It was odd how endeared Guy could be with other while egg yolk and ham gravy was dripping down the side of his face. One of Sam’s many charms was that he was the most charming when he wasn’t even trying. 

So, with that thought lingering in his mind, Guy gathered up his toast and his work tools and before heading out the door, leaned down to kiss the corner of Sam’s mouth.

And with that he left, grinning like a cat who caught the canary. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> told ya there would be a kiss this chapter. and maybe...might even be another one in the next, who knows! certainly not me! drop a comment and let me know what y'all think! also considering making a shorter oneshot series if anyone would be interested in that? and oh wow 'cat who caught the canary' what a very specific but still widely used metaphor that i'm sure has no baring on future chapters or plot developments what so ever! : D

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to just....be a quick kissing fic but now it's not so Oh Well. they WILL kiss next chapter no matter what i have to do to make it it happen. also i kno sam is like...some kinda bug thing according to his wiki page but i'm just gonna say that he's a Very Small And Odd Who and leave it at that. srry if there's any mistakes with spelling/grammar/tense. i'm sleepy


End file.
